that “riot kid” at FedEx Field

so i was at the Redskins game on Thursday, watching the Patriots walk all over them, and i’m in the bathroom in the third quarter because nature often calls our friend janklow when he’s seated in the middle of a lot of people. so while i’m waiting for the stall, this fat white kid walks up to me. now, let me pause a moment and point out that if you’ve seen the Sobe ad with the kid from the Sandlot, this kid looks JUST like him, except with brown hair and no freckles. he even had the super-cool visor all worn to the side and tilted like the uber-thug gangsta he is.

anyway, so, this kid starts talking to me.

HOMESKILLET: “yo, like, we got to come back and win this thing, yo!”
JANKLOW: “yeah, i think we can, we’ve had really strong second halves in the past, we can do it again.”
HOMESKILLET: “yo, if we lose, i’m starting a riot up in this junk!”
JANKLOW: “uh, yeah.”
HOMESKILLET: “yo, are you ready for a riot?”
JANKLOW: “well, uh…”
HOMESKILLET: “yo, i think we can come back and win this!”
JANKLOW: “yeah, i mean, the last couple weeks, we’ve had good play in the second half, and the score’s not so bad that we can’t make it up.”
HOMESKILLET: “yo, but if we don’t, i’m starting a riot!”
JANKLOW: “hmmm.”
HOMESKILLET: “we’ve got the homefield! we’ve got to represent, yo! with a riot!”
JANKLOW: “…………..hey, the stall’s open.”

this was also the day that i confirmed the fact that if one white guy (janklow) stands around at a PG metro station, every other suburban white person with a question will ask him (janklow) instead of all the black personnel that work there. stupid fucking suburbanites.

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