random but excellent blog moments and a range report you don’t care about

i don’t have a super-great update for the week (i’ve got an idea or two kicking around, but they remain a few steps away from being fully-formed), so i’m going to turn to the crutch of all bloggers – the list – to give you some blog-based greatest hits that you may not have read, but that i personally find amusing, to pass the time until you get bored and maybe read the range report below. so here we go!

(blog) hits you may have missed

Agent Zero: the Blog File
post in question: “I’m Starting in Vegas!”
recently, Gilbert Arenas, possibly THE most hilarious player in the NBA today, struck some comedy good with a joke about shark attacks he put on this blog that he admits to borrowing Carlos Mencia-style from Ian Edwards. however, my favorite remains the post where he makes the All-Star squad and then, to quote Gilbert: “So I woke my daughter up and we started dancing. She was crying because she was still sleepy, but I considered it laughing.” awesome.

Passion Of The Weiss
post in question: “The 10 Wrestlers You Watched When You Were A Kid That are Probably Gay”
the key point that i will cite in defense of how much this amuses me is that the ranking system totally abuses Brutus “the Barber” Beefcake – owner of the WORST wrestling alias of all time – and i love that. also, don’t worry, kids, the post claims Hulk Hogan is mind-numbingly heterosexual. so there’s that as well.

Sexy Results!
post in question: “school spirit….m*&!*$@’s!”
admittedly, you have to care a enough about rap music to get these jokes, but if you DO, then hopefully you will find this post about comparing college football programs to rap artists as hilarious as i do. and for those who DON’T know … Tulsa’s nickname is the Golden Hurricane. warning to 50% of my audience: it’s not kind to the Terps.

Status Ain’t Hood
post in question: “Rap’s David Banner Threatens to Kill Music Industry”
sometimes i say something about David Banner – that he has a cooler voice than Keith David, that i like his records, and so on – that people demand i explain. generally, my explanation refers to his awesome voice, his charity work, and the above blog post. as further evidence, let me cite it so that you’ll feel compelled to read it in full: “He rode some bouncer’s shoulders. He put some girl up on his shoulders. He jumped up on the bar. I’m pretty sure he told the crowd that he’d pissed in Diddy’s pool. And when the crowd still gave him a weak cheer at the end of his set, he screamed, “As hard as a motherfucker work, I’d rather have y’all boo me!”” seriously, David Banner is good stuff.

08.2007 range report

as stated some time ago, this week i decided to take my new Jericho/”Baby” Desert Eagle/whatever out on the farm for the purposes of shooting toilets.

target stand on the left, toilet on the right
off in the distance, we see the Kohler in its native habitat

we couldn’t resist getting right to this, but since we shoot at a distance that’s a bit long for pistols and a little short for rifles, we figured it would last a little while. but after we took one round of pistol fire from the four of us to it…

pistol rounds top a toilet every time
there’s nothing so depressing as destroying the coolest thing you have to shoot at right away

… it was just completely done. i know i should be pleased that we were all over it with our pistols and that said pistols decimated the target… but i still felt a sense of loss. so then we pounded the rubble of the toilet with some semi-automatic clones of battle rifles!

i still prefer regular wooden stocks to metal folding stocks
basically just an excuse to use a photo of me rocking an AK clone and the “Defend Brooklyn” shirt at the same time

pictured: the Hungarian AK and two AR-15s (Colt/RRA) used to decimate targets and toilet rubble; not pictured: my ancient Mosin-Nagant M38 (not semi-auto, but certainly Russian) and the PTR-91. for some reason, no two people i know own the same brand of AR-15; i personally own a Bushmaster, so that means Bushmasters are the best. there was also some pistol-shooting:

Jericho in action
no matter what is stamped on the side of the gun, it’s still awesome

our new Jericho/”Baby” Desert Eagle/whatever proved to an a fun and well-shooting 9mm pistol (which is only good if you don’t want to shoot a real man’s cartridge like .45 ACP), so i’d heartily recommend them to anyone who wants to get a 9mm based on the CZ-75 that’s made by Israelis and possibly has lame things like “Desert Eagle” stamped on it. we also had some snob guns:

sweet bandana time!
left to right: baby-killing FN Five-seveN, pricy Sig Sauer 299 in .357 SIG

…which is why is nice to bring someone willing to buy them. my recent Jericho purchase was one-upped by that FN Five-seveN purchase by a friend. note that the Five-seveN is so plastic that it feels like a toy, fires that same round the P90 does in accordance with some Belgian scheme, and, if i recall correctly, Sarah Brady claims that it shoots through police officer’s vests into nearby babies. i can’t confirm this as we had no babies nearby. the 229 is a nice gun; i just like to tease it because .357 SIG is a pricy round to fire (but what isn’t these days).

not pictured: two Glocks (21 and 36). because Glocks are crappy guns that jam and misfire and i don’t really care for them. not that they’re actually THAT crappy, i just like talking trash about them on the internet.

also, let me close with this advice: if you’re trespassing on an ATV and you hear people firing hundreds and hundreds of rounds of ammunition, i would advise you to not DRIVE YOUR ATV INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD. that is all.

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