big trouble in little … nostalgia

i have to make a disclaimer here that i am prohibited from talking about a certain John Carpenter movie this week on the grounds that i have talked about it for the past two weeks (for the reason that it is AWESOME) and, accordingly, it is not to be talked about a third week in a row under penalty of me getting body slammed into the ground in the way that Quinton “Rampage” Jackson would slam an opponent. now, some of you might not be too phased by this, but here are a few things to take into account: a) i am very small, b) i am fragile and would break on impact like a porcelain cat if i WAS to be body slammed, and c) if it wasn’t clear, the guy doing the slamming is a big guy. he picks up airport tugs single-handedly and turns off heavy machinery with head butts!

also, did i just compare myself to a porcelain cat? ugh.

anyway, instead of my regularly-scheduled topic, i have a new one that should hopefully prevent me from getting my ass kicked and maybe also contain 1-3 jokes: things i get a little nostalgic about!

sampling in rock records
so, recently i have decided to crank some of the aggressive records (mainly in the industrial or metal genres) that i once listened to fairly frequently in the 1990s before this awesome thing called hip-hop took complete control of my body and soul, and one thing i’ve noticed is that these albums contained a fair amount of awesome, random samples on songs. now, maybe this is also a case of me not being completely in touch with the genres mentioned above currently, but it strikes me that this was something that got phased out, at least as far as the bands in question go (let’s just cite Biohazard, Marilyn Manson, Ministry and White Zombie for examples here). case in point: it’s completely excellent that Biohazard’s title track “State Of The World Address” kicks off with a sample about Dante seeing the gates of hell; one album later, i don’t recall ANYTHING like this going on Mata Leao (and i even manned up and listened to it to be fairly sure of this). and it’s not like these bands got better because they dropped this sampling concept, so what i have to ask here is… where the fuck did my samples go?

choruses in hip-hop records
i remember the last time i listened to Ice Cube’s AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted in full – while driving to and from work in a sweet Honda Civic – because i proceeded to have a conversation with someone at work about how i couldn’t listen to it anymore without getting nostalgic for the days when rap artists didn’t feel a need to have fucking choruses all the goddamn time. seriously, listen to a track like “the Bomb” and what do you get? more sampling in the way that’s missing from my rock records, Ice Cube going nuts in a series of verses … and no fucking choruses. in fact, it highlights what SHOULD be placed between a rapper’s verses: friends of said rappers talking nonsense. i guess this kind of thing died out around the mid-1990s or so.

my favorite actors not being in movies that suck
you know, it’s really getting annoying. like, i love Robert De Niro’s work to death, and it’s not like you should really have to hear a lot of static if you can say to someone “hey, man, i starred in Mean Streets, Taxi Driver, the Godfather Part II, and Raging Bull. what the fuck have you done with YOUR life?” but i’m also willing to concede that appearing in a movie about Rocky & Bullwinkle sort of takes some of the sting out of that remark. plus, if you’re not broke and you don’t have an agreement with the SAG to appear in EVERY MOVIE EVER MADE like Samuel L. Jackson does, there’s really no reason to pollute your legacy. i mean, when De Niro’s getting some lifetime achievement award, does he really want to overhear someone in the crowd saying “wasn’t he in Showtime?”

and, in standard house of hate news, we have a new member of the family: this old model Steyr M40 (not to be confused with the Steyr M40-1A or whatever they call them now)!

Steyr M40
it’s Austrian, but luckily, it’s not a Glock, so there’s that

yes, that is correct, in a span of like 4 months i went from having no .40 S&W-caliber pistols to having more of them than any other handgun caliber. though, in fairness, i was actually looking to get a Steyr M9 when i bought this gun.

pros: very pleasant price; very comfortable feel; made by Austrians to give you that “German without being German” flavor; doesn’t have the homoerotic combination of saying Mannlicher in large letters and Cumming, GA as the city of origin.

cons: bought it used, so there’s no manual (downloaded one from Steyr) and no key for the internal lock (which really doesn’t matter because it’s not locked and i will never lock it); weird manual safety; since it’s the original run and not an 1A, magazines and the like are harder to get (and i will need to get 1-2 magazines for it); weird sights.

Steyr M40 sights
figures that these Austrians have to be SO FUCKING CLEVER with their sights

they’re actually not bad, but they’re definitely weird. so it goes.

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