yeah… i’d like to tell you that i’ve got another serious topic like the Adventures of Robert Mugabe for you this week, but, well, you know how this once-a-week internet nonsense goes: i’m mostly just going to complain about people getting their fifteen minutes of fame and other stuff i see on the internet. and in the end, it’s important to me that i don’t disappoint you people on that score. let’s do this thing.
in which i take issue with the serious work of Miss California
GETTING BACK TO THE WORK AT HAND. actually, i was going to post a picture of Keith Lewis and talk about how his appearance makes him look smug and punchable… but i could not find one
so while visiting the grandmother on one occasion, i happen to walk in on an episode of this show on Fox News that’s hosted by Greta Van Susteren (who i constantly out as a Scientologist and thus one of my greatest enemies) where they’re talking about this HUGE CONTROVERSY over what some Miss California said while trying to achieve the goal of being the next Miss USA. it was something about how she thinks marriage is between a man and a woman and blah blah blah; i could really care less about that kind of thing. i mean, i admit that i am a card-carrying Republican and all, but i mostly care about guns. getting worked up over gay marriage is not something i do… but then, this is probably why i only watch Fox News when i walk in on someone else’s watching it. Fox News is not something i do either.
ANYWAY, what gets me is that while they’re interviewing this dude Keith Lewis, who i guess is a guy that runs the Miss California competition, he makes some comment about how he’s not worried about Miss USA, he’s worried about Miss California, and he’s waiting for her to return and “get back to the work at hand.” excuse me, “work at hand?” “work at hand?” we’re not talking about an esteemed US senator or a captain of industry here, Keith. what’s all this work that’s at hand? she’s going to balance the state budget? actually, if she did, i would be really impressed and would probably consider tempering all my outrage. but as it stands, i a) doubt there’s any real “work at hand” and b) am still getting outraged by some nonsense on Fox News.
in which i take issue with this famous new rapper Asher Roth
yes… this one also has a visage that seems to be begging to be punched…
Asher Roth, Asher Roth, Asher Roth. where to begin? well, i think i’m mostly going to stick to quoting him and then talking shit about it. let’s begin with this VIBE.com quote:
“Kids from the ‘burbs have been inspired and influenced by hip hop for years,” says Roth, recently inked to Steve Rifkindâ€™s Universal imprint, SRC. “When I wrote my ‘A Millie’ freestyle, that was me listening to 10 years of hip hop and not relating to it at all. Like, Damn I don’t sell coke. Damn, I donâ€™t have cars or 25-inch rims. I don’t have guns. I finally got to a point where I had the confidence to do this thing myself, and I was making music for me.”
so maybe this is me being difficult, but how is it that you can listen to something for 10 years and not relate to it at all? wouldn’t you just, you know, STOP LISTENING TO IT? now perhaps it’s the fact that i think not every rap album’s about coke, guns and cars, but i don’t see how you can have a massive disconnect from a genre of music you listen to and perform. but, in fairness, maybe i see his point: his album seems to be about talking shit, having sex with women, and consuming drugs and alcohol, things that NEVER come up as topics on hip-hop albums. oh wait… anyway, now for this PyroRadio.com noise:
PyroRadio.com: So is the writing on the wall for Gangsta rap in your opinion?
Asher Roth: I think itâ€™s about that time. It will be around, but if you look at The Game for example who was the last person to really come out talking that kinda stuff. Was he successful? Yes, but were people relating to it? No. You go to Los Angeles and Mexico that stuff gangs and stuff still exist but is that what we should be glorifying, no. People can disagree with me because there is a struggle in this country but rather than glorify gangs and make kids wanna join gangs I think we should concentrate on building and teaching rather than destroying shit.
now i know my earlier assertion was that people have to be relating to you on SOME level in order for you to be successful, so there’s that. and i think that even if we talk about the Game, who i love to mock, there’s still something more to him that just a generic “gangsta rap” stereotype that his fans can get into (and i say this as someone who mocks him for being derivative and lame and everything). and yes, gangs are bad and “building and teaching” are good. but for crying out loud, you’re a fucking frat boy rapper that talks about blumpkins and getting hammered in college. you’re not building or teaching anything. and since rap was successful for years without you relating to it… what makes you think that you relate enough to it to know gangsta rap is about done?
see, this is why i hate white people.