“he’s the toughest dancer i’ve ever seen”

DISCLAIMER: originally, this post might have been about Raekwon’s Only Built 4 Cuban Linx Pt. II and how it’s the best hip-hop album of the year, but then i remembered that that would make J.Miles sad. so if you’re into that kind of thing, it’s phenomenal and you should go purchase it. now let’s move on.

so the other day, i was looking up videos of various fighters wrecking other fighters in notable fashion (there was a reason for this, but as it’s not springing to mind, let’s go with “eh, this is what i do in my down time” for now) and i happened across a highlight video for Anderson Silva that a) was excellent in terms of watching guys be brutalized by Anderson Silva and b) referred to Silva as “the toughest dancer i’ve ever seen.” and to this i could only think “what a weirdly specific way to comment on Silva, even if he clearly loves to dance.” and that’s why we have a random dancer-themed update this week.

A BRIEF COLLECTION OF JUST PLAIN RANDOM REFERENCES TO DANCERS

John Belushi and/or the Blues Brothers
this is admittedly not the John Belushi dancing film i’m actually about to reference, but it’s not like this dancing did anything more to keep him alive

that “Don’t Look Back In Anger” SNL skit with John Belushi
in 1978, Saturday Night Live (affectionately known to people who watched it when, you know, it was GOOD, but don’t watch it anymore as SNL) ran a short film by Tom Schiller called “Don’t Look Back In Anger,” where Belushi plays himself as an old man visiting the graves of his former cast members, with him being the only remaining survivor. this is funny now because of the irony of him being the first to die (death is HILARIOUS), but funny at the time because in the film, he asserts that his longevity is due to the fact that he’s a dancer, and then proceeds to dance on the other cast members’ graves. i’m not sure if it’s supposed to be ironic on that level (the whole dancer = dancing on graves thing) or just a random and thus funny claim (the dancer thing being apropos of nothing), but i prefer the latter. and yes, this is what i mean by “just plain random references.”

Final Fantasy V
i don’t know who this “Lenna” character is or why she’s so obsessed with the “White Mage” character class, but the fact is that it’s the Dancer class that we’re about to discuss

Final Fantasy V
some time back, i made a post (which i think no longer exists on this site) about how my motivation for declaring FFV to have been the best game of the series had nothing to do with common or “reasonable” arguments (the job system, the specific story, the “wheee, wasn’t released in America for a very long time” factor for the Japan-loving nerds), but rather because of one reason that topped the others: DANCERS. in fact, if i might quote myself on this topic:

“this means your entire party can be FOUR DANCERS, which is absolutely RIDICULOUS, and yet, these dancers are able to kill EVERYTHING. “hey, look, it’s a new random adversary! quick, everyone start DANCING!” boom, enemies die, dancers win. and let me make one thing clear: i don’t want to hear the nonsensical debate that says “well, some other FF games have bards,” because bards aren’t dancers, they’re warrior poets or whatever. FF5 has fucking DANCERS in belly-dancer outfits that attack by performing some spastic version of the Watusi, and it makes people DIE. … FF5 and its swarm of gyrating player characters will always hold the top spot. well, unless they make a Final Fantasy game where you can have FIVE dancers at the same time. but i don’t want to think about that, because i might DIE of excitement.”

they’d vaguely attempt similar notions at later points (a character would do some dance-based thing, or something along those lines)… but it would never be the same.

Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling
i… i… i don’t have any words that make the title of this film make any more sense

that whole “Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling” thing
so Richard Pryor’s one of the funniest comedians of all time, and in that capacity has been responsible for many further generations of comedians as well; remember when Eddie Murphy was ridiculously funny? however, as his turbulent personal life showed us, he was not immune to making mistakes, and i’m not talking about his filming of the Toy or even the time he lit himself on fire. no, we’re talking about the time he made some movie called Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling.

now, Pryor claimed this film about a comedian (the aforementioned Jo Jo Dancer) who grew up in a brothel, beat the odds to become a successful comedian, got into serious drug use and womanizing, and then seriously burned himself in a drug incident was not autobiographical. ha! but more to the point, i’m not sure why Pryor named the character who is clearly Pryor himself “Jo Jo Dancer.” and while i’m a little curious, i’m not about to watch this movie to find out, because i doubt it will truly answer that question. and i say this as a fan of Pryor and Paul Mooney, both of whom are funny and who worked on this film. so, you know, it remains a mystery.

also, for anyone reading this, please don’t tell my sister that i implied the Toy was a tragic error of a film. if she finds out i said that, it won’t go well for me. thanks.

Anderson Silva
keep on being ridiculous, Anderson, you’ve earned it

Anderson “the Spider” Silva
i don’t know what more there is to say: Anderson Silva wrecks everyone with all the knees and the punches and the kicks and even the chokes and then he dances. he clearly loves to dance, and frankly, when you’re smashing guys into submission left and right, you’re basically allowed to do all the dancing you like. hell, here’s the highlight video that inspired this whole mess. if you take nothing else away from it, enjoy the RIDICULOUS kick at 1:52 that caused Silva to be disqualified and lose to Yushin Okami. that kick should get you an award for outstanding achievement in the field of excellence.

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