J.Miles’ Choose-Your-Own-Update Adventure!

recently, given that the week ending in 07.23.2010 was somewhat truncated by people’s birthdays and/or the consumption of a reasonable amount of alcohol (not a heroic one, a feat that, while impressive, is limited to certain times and locales), myself and my colleague J.Miles were talking about this week’s update, and i came to the conclusion that there were two easy, mediocre options i could run with for the week, and that he could choose between them:

01. a continuation of last week’s “13 greatest white rappers of all time” update, wherein i culled some choice video selections to make my point about the quality and/or ridiculousness of said rappers;
02. a fairly unoriginal “ripped from the headlines” open letter update based around this whole “ground zero mosque” ridiculousness, which was bound to feature me being disgusted at some point.

in either case, i figured there would be a point where i would tire of BOTH concepts and that only one of them would ever get written, so i let the choice be his. and after some deliberation, J.Miles made his (perhaps unsurprising) choice:

and now, janklow with an open letter to all those people protesting the “ground zero mosque.”

ground zero mosque protest
fuck you, man(s), fuck you

well, why do you do it? are you all some sort of jerks or something? actually… let me pause here and have some background. this is the basic scenario in question: there is talk of building the Cordoba House, a community center that would basically be the Islamic version of a YMCA or Jewish Community Center, and it’s going to include “prayer space” (which let’s just assume is a political way of saying “mosque”). and it’s going to be located in New York City, where terrorism was once perpetrated by some Muslims, and now people are INCREDIBLY agitated about this. and this is where i say “America, what the fuck is your problem?”

now, granted, i am sure this taps into some very real emotions for people; a lot of the argument that’s getting ignored is logical, “let’s proceed based on the foundation of free speech and religious tolerance that this nation was supposedly founded on and continues to extol” stuff, but when people get emotional, they tend to forget that. but see, that’s when the politicians and commentators are supposed to keep a level head and NOT get caught up in all the raving about Muslims, something they’re clearly not doing because it’s much easier to score cheap political points.

there are already mosques in New York City; there are mosques as close as four blocks away from ground zero RIGHT NOW. a mosque in and of itself doesn’t have shit to do with a terrorist attack; neither does the average Muslim. as my dear friends at the classy Economist pointed out, “what about the hearts, and for that matter rights, of Muslim Americans? Even George W. Bush, for all his verbal infelicities and one unhappy choice of the word “crusade”, understood the importance of drawing the sharpest possible distinction between Islam and a murderous terrorist organisation that claims, but has no right or mandate, to speak in its name.” granted, they still don’t know a damn thing about gun rights, but they’re right about this.

this mess also led us, of course, to Palin’s “‘Refudiate,’ ‘misunderestimate,’ ‘wee-wee’d up,’ English is a living language. Shakespeare liked to coin new words too.” look, Palin, here’s the deal: all those words/phrase suck ass, aren’t worth coining, and aren’t worth using. and if you’re equating yourself to Shakespeare… well, i don’t know where the fuck to begin with THAT one. this is a bit of a tangent, but goddamnit, can a person not just say “whoops, mistyped that” instead of pretending some intellectual-while-anti-intellectual gambit? fuck that nonsense.

the only thing i take issue with on the pro-mosque side that i can think of was a random note from a New Yorker that “the people of New York [were] the ones actually attacked on 9/11.” one, it’s legit to take an attack aimed at America that happens to strike New York City as an attack on America; two, people on the planes, in this area at the Pentagon, and from other nations (and thus probably not New Yorkers specifically) also got attacked and killed, so spare me the fucking “only New Yorkers can get emotional about 9/11” nonsense, dude, even if we agree about the mosque stuff.

also, if i may, i’d like to add two additional, brief open letters:

01. to the guy that came perilously close to hitting me in the face with an office door: hey, it wasn’t a big deal, because it wasn’t on purpose, and you didn’t hit me… until you shot me this disgusted look after you wildly swung the door into a hallway and almost hit me. YOU almost hit ME, you raging asshole, so you can spare me the fucking look, okay? i would say “go die in a fire,” but i gather that’s a little cliche on the internet at this point, so go die in a bear attack.

02. to the men and women that were merging like spoiled, bratty children on Route 97 today: i expected no less worse behavior than i got, but i am boiling with anger nonetheless; at some point i expect everyone to admit we’re living in a society! and we’re supposed to act in a civilized way! eh, again, i know the drill, everyone’s in such a fucking RUSH that they can’t work together to keep the traffic flowing, but i can’t help being disappointed; i suppose i’m just a hopeless romantic. guys, just try to keep in mind what Ray Liotta said in Cop Land: the goal is perpetual motion.

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