things i am not making fun of at all: parkour dog, dinosaur batman, and the politics of your beer selection. unless you chose Heineken!

to be perfectly honest, i feel bad about throwing out ANOTHER content-free placeholder post when i did the same thing two weeks ago; you can attribute this to me just refusing to get pending updates completed (possibly until they’re WAY past their expiration date), you can attribute this to whatever personal failings of mine you’d like (there are many), you can attribute this to… well, whatever. in any case, let us use this time to post a few things that i can’t make fun of so much as just sit back in awe of.

TreT the Super Dog may have a stupid name (apparently he is also known as “Parkour Dog from Ukraine, which actually sounds bett), but i can say this: if this dog was running for president, i would vote for him. actually, scratch that: i would vote for this dog for any possible political office he could hold, given that he’s from the Ukraine, and this not eligible to be president, but still much more excellent than any politicians i know. and honestly, that’s not meant to be a cynical reflection of my lack of faith in our modern politicians; it’s more a reflection about how fucking awesome this dog is.

if i ran a television network, i would give him a show entitled Parkour Dogus Has Moves. we’re working with some very high-level puns here.

something about how my taste in beer relates to my politics?

What Your Beer Says About Your Politics

so i’m not making fun of this because, you know, science was at work, i guess, but i don’t know that i agree with it. specific complaints?

01. my personal taste leans Guinness, but as far as i can tell, i am not Democrat-leaning and prone to high voter turnout. although i DO have to admit that, despite my incredibly pessimism commentaries on the uselessness of voting and all that, i still DO vote all the damn time. so maybe i am just resisting what the Guinness says about me, beyond that i think Guinness is a tasty beer?

02. according to this chart, the Irishman, who i am assigning a choice of Yuengling to, would be even more Republican than i am Democrat (note: i am not a Democrat and he is not a Republican) and more prone to voting than i. i think he thinks Ron Paul is cool, but somehow i doubt he’s carrying the flag for the GOP simply because he thinks America’s oldest brewery is cool. then again, it’s not like i KNOW how he votes, right?

03. next time i see someone drinking a Heineken, i am going to point at them and declare “YOU FUCKING COMMUNIST.”

like i said, DINOSAUR BATMAN

DINOSAUR BATMAN

so this is over a year old, but it’s not something you make fun of (OBVIOUSLY), so let’s look back at 2011 and think about how cool this Dinosaur Batman is! the page informs us that “keep in mind that the movie is shooting under the code name Magnus Rex, and the T-Rex appears to be a gag set up by students at the nearby Art Institute of Pittsburgh”; i love to mock the Art Institutes, but this is still pretty excellent.

so okay, there you go. this was ALMOST like a real update! we’ll eventually get this website on track

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