so, time to do this thing again: the good old house of hate “open letter to (insert group here).” now, i admit i am, as always, way behind on my updates. the “dates” these things get published are almost 100% fiction at this point. but to be clear, don’t think i am running with this because i am trying to catch up: these things happened, your hero (that would still be janklow at this point) got TOTALLY OUTRAGED, and thus the internet must be informed. so, without any further delay or unnecessary introduction, we should get right to it, no?
and now, janklow with an open letter to the people who have been seriously out of line regarding the use of their trucks and how they chat recently.
fuck you, people who drive and park poorly with their trucks, fuck you
well, why did you do it? are you some sort of jerk or something? do you not understand how to park your cars like reasonable people? do you not understand how to drive them like responsible adults? and do you not understand where and how to have a chat about long-winded, emotional matters? do you not know that we’re living in a society? and that we’re supposed to act in a civilized way?
so let’s talk about a couple of things:
what the fuck are you people doing with your trucks
now, i know we’ve all been in that situation where you’re trying to park and you see some guy’s EXCESSIVE pick-up taking up two or three spaces and you think, “man, who the hell does this guy think he is?” while this is incredibly rude, and while i will never truly understand why someone wants to park in a public place with a massive truck, on some level i can understand that MAYBE you have this truck for legitimately reasons and MAYBE you can’t afford multiple cars and MAYBE this means you have to take that giant truck when you want to go out to dinner or to the movies or whatever else you’re doing. FINE. i will come to terms with this. but i have two remaining issues:
one, there’s an intersection where i work that’s on the way out, which means it sees a fair amount of cross traffic; if nothing else, this means one would like to be able to see both ways to avoid getting mashed in my tiny little compact car. and yet, at least two of the guys who work in the building near this intersection have been parking alongside this intersection in a way that obstructs one’s view because they drive MASSIVE GODDAMN TRUCKS. now, i don’t know why they park on the road as opposed to in their parking area; this concept alone does not sadden me. but there’s plenty of roadside parking near this facility that’s not RIGHT NEXT TO THE INTERSECTION. this is just unacceptable.
two, one day after i drive home after another day of dodging those trucks, i pull up at a local intersection that’s notorious for the number of accidents that occur there (per capita, at least). it’s one where there’s a turn lane on the right hand side that’s meant for people to turn without stopping for the majority of traffic, but which, as we all know, is primarily used by people who want to zoom ahead of their fellow man. this particular day, though, it’s not the average car or SUV, but rather a MASSIVE GODDAMN TRUCK … that’s hauling a fucking giant trailer. A TRAILER. do i need to break down how absolutely inconsiderate this is to everyone who’s trying to drive like normal? fuck that guy.
how the fuck you people are having your conversations these days
so i’m stopping to fill my car with gasoline (and presumably asking myself how i shall be getting INCREDIBLY OUTRAGED today), and upon walking into the station, i realize that i find myself running the gauntlet of four or five men who have stationed themselves on both sides of the entrance, and are having some kind of emotional meeting. while i would like to say that i respect their ill-advised decision to have an emotional meeting in a gas station, i would really prefer if people could do so in a manner that doesn’t force me (or anyone else) to run through the midst of a crowd of middle-aged men talking breathlessly. i honestly don’t think that is THAT much to ask. but maybe that’s just me?
now i do understand that sometimes you have a spontaneous meeting in public that evolves into an impromptu conversation that takes a surprising amount of time, but typically, considerate people nudge that conversation out of the way of everyone else. further (and as i said on the internet prior to this), if they were having some kind of conversation about Serious Business (for example, discussing which of their team of Bad Enough Dudes was going to rescue the president), i’d be fine with it, but this looked like it was going to break out into uncontrollable sobbing within the next ten minutes.
WHEW. i feel better. also, things that have nothing to do with this…
like i always say, it’s not a Super Bowl party until someone sells you a rifle. i suppose, what with all the recent legislation, that i should just embrace the scoped, deer rifle thing all the fudds have going on. so here we go! this will, of course, last until i get something cooler.